A few months ago, I came home from a hometown party feeling a little confused. I had spent the night hanging out with some friends from high school, but we were surrounded with a big group of people I didn't know very well.
My usual party schtick includes sitting in the corner with my girls, sipping on a warm something or another, and watching the night unfold before me in solitude. The longer we watched the boys play beer-pong in the basement, the more comfortable I felt talking to people I had yet to meet. I tried to strike up a conversation with the group sitting next to me, but it didn't go so well.
I'm not going to say that my sense of humor is for everyone. I'm not even going to say that it's for most people, or even half the collective audience I am ever a part of. I'm dry, sarcastic, and a little bit mean if you take what I say too seriously. It's not like I try to be a freak-of-the-week on purpose, but it's generally how I'm perceived to those who first come in contact with me. This night was no different, as the boys in the room looked at me in mild disbelief the longer I started to run my mouth. Apparently, the subject of popular celebrity murder cases isn't the most common party small talk around here.
I know I'm funny. My friends laugh at my jokes, I liven up all the family BBQs, and have been told I should actually go into comedy more times than I can count. I genuinely find the confusion from the people who don't 'get' me amusing. But this was the first time I had really sat back and realized how often the boys at every party I go to find me a little freaky. It doesn't make me feel bad or like less of a person, but it was something I had never given much thought prior to this particular evening.
I came home and told my mom what had happened.
"I think I'm the weird girl at the party."
If anyone knows that my sense of humor and discussion points are a little fucked up, it's my mom. She laughed, kissed me on the forehead, and told me I should never change that part about me. (No, this is NOT copy and pasted line from a coming-of-age rom/com staring Emma Stone. It ACTUALLY happened in my very own kitchen.)
I'm not trying to be one of those people who prides themselves in '~~~***NOTT being like the OTHER GIRLS***!!!!'. I recognize and congratulate the other women who I see at parties successfully interacting with the men there, I will probably never be one of them. I especially admire the girls rocking heels and short skirts at parties in the winter, because that shit is uncomfortable and women should be awarded something for successfully acting like they are anything but that. All of us make up important aspects of our local college party scene. Whatever kind of person you are at the party, you should own it and pay little mind to how other people there perceive you.
I like talking about weird shit, I like bringing a bag of snacks to gatherings in case I get hungry later, I naturally speak in a tone that's drier than the Sahara herself, and I ain't changin' for no one. I'll probably always be the weird girl at the party. Ask me how I feel about aliens next time you see me at one.
We just sent you an email. Please click the link in the email to confirm your subscription!
OKSubscriptions powered by Strikingly